I'm just a bright-haired, non-binary, jack-of-all-trades Elf-boi filling my little queer sphere of the world with scents, stardust, and... hyphens, apparently. The eclectic nature of my store and my content creation can be blamed on my ongoing obsession with J.R.R. Tolkien's Middle-Earth.
My essential oil blends are largely inspired by Tolkien's works (though I began with blends based on a certain boy wizard taking Potions Class). I translate and write phrases in Tolkien's Sindarin for tattoos and others' craft projects. Though my hand-painted Starscapes are more nuanced---influenced by astronomy, astrological divination, spiritual symbolism, and BTS (the Korean pop band)---even they were sparked by the love Tolkien's Elves had of the stars.
The Lord of the Rings and The Silmarillion have given me much: comfort through the discovery and acceptance of my queerness, inspiration in my creative endeavors, and the great joy and sorrow of my own tragic love-story.
When the Lord of the Rings trilogy rocked the cinematic world, I was immediately swept up into the world of fanfiction, which overflowed with the queer representation my sheltered, conservative upbringing had sorely lacked. It was through fanfiction that I first engaged with social media. And it was a fanfic author who first taught me Sindarin, one of the Elvish languages Tolkien created.
The woman behind those Elvish language lessons slowly morphed from teacher to friend. From friend to co-author... to business partner... to house-mate... to the great love of my life.
We crafted jewelry together. We dabbled in perfume formulation. But most of all, we created sweeping fantasy and urban-fantasy worlds together, writing every single day over instant messenger for nearly twelve years. We decided to self-publish, and our business snowballed into a full LGBTQ+ micro-press 100 authors strong. Even when chronic illness forced us to give up our press, we still wrote together, oscillating between planning our epic fantasy series and returning to Tolkien characters for fun.
We were writing our original favorite characters, Gwindor and Thranduil, when the instant messenger went silent. On September 30th, 2019, my partner passed away in her sleep without warning, leaving behind not just me but her husband of 21 years, his secondary girlfriend, and our 13 fur-babies. Our crowded house instantly felt empty.
Without her connecting me to the rest of our polycule (extended polyamorous relationship), I chose to move away when the global pandemic left me jobless. I took a break from my YouTube channel and began making videos on TikTok, cosplaying an appropriately angsty Draco Malfoy as a way of processing my grief. In January 2021, my content shifted sharply to my original love: J.R.R. Tolkien's Elves & Ainur. I now share the Neo-Sindarin Elvish lessons that brought me and my partner together over a decade ago.
The sections of my store represent the remnants of several things I once enjoyed doing with my partner. They are my ways of keeping her memory alive while I wait for my proverbial ship to sail from the Grey Havens to Valinor, where I hope we'll eventually be reunited. I truly hope that you can feel the love, joy, and positive intentions that I put in every single thing I sell. As Enya once put it...